#batfamily chronicles microseries

[gothamite-rambler]

Duke Thomas gets added to the payroll

Bruce Wayne (seeing Duke walk past his office): Duke.

Duke backwards walked to Bruce’s office.

Duke: Sup?

Bruce: Did you check your bank account? The direct deposit should’ve hit.

Duke: The what? Oh you were serious about that?

Bruce: Of course, you’re not only my son, but you do work for me and you deserve an income.

Duke: Thanks dude, but I can’t take your money I work at the library.

Bruce: Duke, trust me. You deserve this. I do it for all my kids… except Tim.

Duke: Why not Tim?

Bruce: Long story… he owns part of my company, plus he- he definitely embezzled a lot of my funds before I noticed so him working at my company is his paycheck.

Duke (alarmed): That was him?!

Bruce: Yeah, but that’s not important currently. You enjoy your first payhcheck and I’m proud of you.

Duke: Thanks man.

Duke left the office, checking his phone as he walked to his room. He nearly dropped his phone seeing the four digits in his bank account that had five dollars in it three days ago.

Duke (shocked, happy): Three- Three thousand dollars?! Woooooooo! I’m eating good tonight! No wait, game stop here I come!

Duke ran out the house passing by Stephanie and Jason.

Duke: I can finally buy a PlayStation!

Jason: Wait until he finds out it’s a monthly payment.

Stephanie: I’ll tell him later. Want to go tell Tim about it first?

Jason: 100% yes.

[gothamite-rambler]

Penguin: Do you hear something?

The glass ceiling above them gave way and Red Hood descended to the ground. He all right, but incredibly sore and pissed off.

Red Hood: Why do so many Gotham buildings have glass ceilings?! Why haven't they taken care of this? Bat family members take up half the residents! These roofs should be redone to support our weight!

Nightwing (looking down): I'm going to drop down!

Red Hood: Not on me!

Nightwing dropped down, landing on Red Hood's hand and while it wasn't broken, it definitely hurt.

Red Hood (screaming in pain): I said not me!

Nightwing (dismissive): You've been through worse.

[gothamite-rambler]

He's asking the real question because Tim was a wild card when he first wanted to become a Robin

Dick: You ever think that if you had said no to Tim being the next Robin he would've become a villain instead?

Bruce Wayne spat his drink out in shock.

Bruce: I thought I was jumping to conclusions!

Dick: Yeah, nah I love Tim, he's my brother, but... Jesus Christ this could've been an 'Incredibles' situation. So I'm glad you put aside how you usually are and let him work with you.

Bruce: Thank you... Wait what do you mean how I usually am?

Dick stood up and walked off.

Bruce: The silence speaks volumes!

Dick: Don't care.

[gothamite-rambler]

A million dollars

Duke: Would you slap your favorite brother for a million dollars?

Jason without a second thought kicked Tim in the face, sending him to the floor.

Tim (shocked, anger): What the fuck?!

Duke (deadpan): I said slap.

Jason: Oh right, hold on.

Jason helped Tim up and then back hand slapped him across the face. Tim spun around and collapsed to the ground again.

Tim: Ow, I bit my cheek that time!

Tim moaned in pain.

Jason (pretending to be ignorant): Wait did you say favorite brother? I thought you meant if I had to slap one.

Tim: You know that's not what he said!

Duke (amused): You'd win, but Holy pimp slap Batman. Damn!

Tim: How much can I get for this?

Tim kicked Jason in his crotch causing the man to fall to the ground as well. Duke took a sip from his coffee mug trying not to laugh.

[gothamite-rambler]

Always ask the other siblings for this type of advice

Damian: Richard, how do you get blo- regular rust off a knife?

Grayson: Um... I'm not sure... Um... Ask Tim.

Damian looked over at Tim, was was drinking coffee and had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep.

Damian: Nope, not doing that. Not with the context. 

Tim (shrugging): That's fair.

Damian walked to the library knowing Jason would be there and went over to him, pulling the small switch blade out of his pocket.

Damian: How do you get blood rust off a knife?

Jason (while reading a medical text book): Vinegar, baking soda or lemon juice. Here's a sponge. The fridge should have all those products. 

Jason passed the young boy a sponge he carried in his pocket for this specific emergency.

Damian: Thank you very much. Don't tell father I asked you this. The bully is fine and I gave him warnings. I gave him ample warnings.

Jason: We never had this conversation? Got it.

Damian left, humming happily.

[gothamite-rambler]

Bruce Wayne: I leave you alone for an hour and you spent a thousand dollars with my credit card!

Jason holds two big tote bags filled with books

Jason Todd: You left me alone... In a Barnes and Noble! This was inevitable.

Bruce Wayne: I’m honestly glad that you’re not buying weapons anymore.

[gothamite-rambler]

Kids always know how to piss off their older sibling

inspired got this from a video online

Jason (13): Hey, how old are you again?

Dick (19) (playful): I—Wait, guess.

Jason (incorrectly guessing): Hm… 30?

Dick (shocked): WHAT?! THIRTY?!

Bruce covered his mouth, chuckling dryly.

Bruce: Yes, yes, you're right, Jason. He’s thirty.

Dick (enraged): I am not! Thirty?!

Jason (alarmed but laughing): Why are you yelling at me?

Dick (hurt emotionally): That’s so far off!

Jason (apologetic): Sorry, you just look… old.

Dick (wounded verbally): OLD?!

Bruce laughed harder, covering his eyes and shaking his head. Jason joined in as Dick's face turned red.

Dick (angry): Bruce, did you put him up to this?!

Bruce (amused): Nope, that was all him. He guessed the same age for me!

Dick (squeaky voice): You think we’re the same age?!

Jason (messing with him now): Are you older?

Dick: I'm 19! How does that even make sense? I was HIS Robin!

Jason (sheepishly): I'm 13! You look the same to me! You must have one of those… old souls.

Jason and Bruce burst out laughing enjoying the moment and Dick's embarrassed.

Bruce: This is the best day ever.

Jason (innocently): Are you sure you’re not at least 27?

Dick (red-faced, loud, shrill): I will not be insulted by a teenager! I'm leaving!

Jason (waving goodbye): Sorry!

Dick stormed off, grumbling.

Jason (to Bruce): I said he looked 30, not exactly like the Crypt Keeper!

Bruce: I know, Jason. He’s sensitive about that. You’re not wrong, but me?

Jason: Honestly, yeah—30. I’m sticking with that.

Bruce handed Jason a 50-dollar bill.

Bruce: You’re a good kid.

Jason: And you give me money when I’m nice, so that helps!

[gothamite-rambler]

"Are you dealing drugs?"

Bruce Wayne: You're not a drug dealer, are you?

Jason Todd spits his drink dramatically.

Jason: Whaaaaat... Noooooo. Oh my God—how could you even... Why would you accuse me of something so awful?!

Jason proceeds to fake cry, covering his eyes.

Jason: This hurts me so much... that you would accuse me of that.

Jason continued fake crying as Dick, Tim, and Damian looked on. Bruce's eyes widened in shock.

Bruce (panicked): Oh dear, I take it back!

Jason: You take it back? How can I go on after this betrayal?

Jason rested his head on Dick's shoulder continuing the facade. Dick could only shake his head with a smile.

Bruce: Oh God, um, I can send you an extra thousand. Stay there!

Bruce ran out of the room. Jason looked up to see if he's gone, then resumed drinking from his soda bottle.

Damian clapped, impressed.

Dick (sighing): You know that was wrong... But I can't blame you.

Tim (angry): He lied though!

Jason: I'm not a drug lord anymore.

Jason looked behind him.

Jason: I'm was one of the lower CEOs; I stepped down due to too much drama.

Damian (sincerely): Smart move.

Jason: Thank you.

Tim (chuckling angrily): He gave you an extra thousand... I'm actually pissed off, fucking bullshit!

Tim stormed off.

Tim (O.S.): I can't believe that didn't fucking work!

Dick: Bruce said he wouldn't give him an allowance because of the whole embezzling thing.

Damian: He has a trust fund and he gets paid by working at father's company yet he complains.

Jason: He was the one who told Bruce?

Damian (nodding): Yep.

Jason: All right, there's only one way to handle this and get two thousand.

Damian (earnestly): Make sure to sell it. Don't make the crying look forced.

Jason: Good advice.

Jason walked out of the living room.

Jason (fake sadness): Bruce, why would Tim lie like that?!

Damian: Grayson, that's why I favor him at times.

Dick (smiling): Fair enough.

[gothamite-rambler]

Giovanni was a (mostly) great dad

Batman: I get it you all resent your fathers-

Zatanna: I don't. I fuckin' love my dad. He taught me magic, always protected me, and one time he threw a party for me and got Sabrina Carpenter to sing at it. My dad's fuckin' awesome!

Jason (sitting next to the magician): Didn't he turn a man into a pile of sludge once?

Zatanna: Oh yeah, the guy was a creep who tried to seduce me when I was 16 and after I made it very clear I was not interested... He turned him into the sludge he was. The guy was a creep and walked after committing a whole lot of messed up crimes. Fuckin' love my dad!

Jason: I- I never had that with my dads!

Batman snuck out of the room before Jason could yell at him.

Zatanna: Come on, Jason. I'm taking you to get ice cream, you need it.

Jason (confused): You're being nice to me?

Zatanna: Dude, duh. You're like my fave person sometimes.

Jason (smiling): Oh... thanks.

[gothamite-rambler]

Two-Face

Two-face and Red Hood walked past each other while a high-stake fight was occurring around them.

Two-Face: Hey, you're that kid that died.

Red Hood (lying): No.

Two-Face: Yes you are. You are alive. Good for you. Everything you did so far since returning... Good for you. Your dad would be proud.

Red Hood (sniffling but it's thankfully hidden in his helmet): I will ... Tell him what you said. I'm gonna go.

Two-Face: Take care, kid.

Red Hood walked away happy.

Batman (comm): You've got to be kidding me. Go back there and arrest him!

Red Hood (comm): Let me have this one! I'm just visiting for the day.

pt 2

[gothamite-rambler]

Dick is the bridge that keep Bruce and Jason from murdering each other

Bruce: It's excuse after excuse; you're driving me fucking crazy!

Jason (23): I just walked in the door—what did I do to upset the King this time?

Bruce: Stop stealing my weapons!

Jason: You are so paranoid!

Bruce: I send you the latest tech every month; you don't need to steal my stuff! DO NOT DENY IT—I HAVE PROOF! I SAW YOU!

Jason (defending his theft): There’s no fun in always getting it for free!

Bruce: If you touch my tech and sell it or give it to one of your friends AGAIN, YOU WILL REPAY ME EVERY CENT!

Jason: YOU DON'T SCARE ME!

Bruce: BITCH, I WILL PUT THE FEAR OF GOD IN YOU!

Dick walked off to get a tool as the two argue.

Jason: GOD WOULD FUCK YOU AND THEN LAUGH!

Bruce: YOU WANT TO PISS ME OFF, DON'T YOU!

Jason: THAT SHIP HAS SAILED.

Dick: Guys!

Jason and Bruce turned to Dick as he shot them with sleep darts, and they both fell unconscious.

Dick: All right, we're going to let the effects of the tranq darts calm you both down, and then we’ll talk this out like adults. Okay? I'm going to get the Tylenol from Bruce's bathroom. Don’t say anything if you agree… Have a good rest.

[gothamite-rambler]

How Catwoman treats the old Robins sometimes

Catwoman: Nightwing, how's my first Robin doing? Aww, you still got that cute face. Or should I say handsome, look at that smile.

Nightwing (smiling): Aww, thank you.

Catwoman: Here you go.

Catwoman handed Nightwing fresh brownies. He took them happily. Catwoman then walked over to Red Hood.

Catwoman: Red Hood.

Red Hood (nod): Selina.

Catwoman: Are you better mentally or are you going to shoot me?

Red Hood (shrugging): Don't want to waste the bullets.

Catwoman (patting the man on the shoulder): Same bratty charm. I missed that, glad to have you back.

Catwoman walked off to head back to Batman. Red Hood looked at Nightwing eating the brownies and snatched one away.

Nightwing: Hey! You can't eat any, you have a helmet on.

Red Hood: I'm saving it for later.

[gothamite-rambler]

Contingency Plans

Wally: Do you guys have contingency plans? Be honest.

Dick (lying): ...No. Definitely, don't have that.

Jason (lying): Same, none saved at all.

Tim (honest): I have five journals so far.

Dick and Jason stared at Tim then quickly changed their answer.

Dick and Jason: Yeah same.

Wally nodded concerned.

Wally: I'm telling the others.

Wally ran with his super speed out of the area before the group could stop him.

Dick (concerned): Are we bad people?

Tim (hacking the pentagon): No just insanely paranoid.

Jason (nodding): Pretty much. I blame Bruce.

Dick: I mean that part is obvious.

[gothamite-rambler]

"Tim, you slipped up eventually," Bernard said.

---Next morning---

Tim woke up the next morning. Last night felt like a dream, it had to be he reasoned. There was no way Bernard discovered he was Robin, sat on this information for a long time, or that Bernard kissed him once he started panicking. It was a dream... a really good dream.

Tim (reasoned): It was a ... dream. I was exhausted. Dog tired, took off my suit which... Is scattered on the floor, totally normal. Me being naked, trying something new. Did that myself.

Bernard (calling from the kitchen): Tim, you awake?

Tim smelled bacon and eggs from the kitchen. Bernard was making breakfast, he was in his place and Tim was naked in bed. Not connected.

Tim (trying to play it cool): I'm up... Wh- When did you get in?

Bernard (heard chuckling from the kitchen): I spent the night here, silly. You hit your head during your Robin job?

Tim (sighing at the inevitable truth): Oh crap baskets.

Tim got out of bed debating what to say, how to handle this, should he pay Bernard to keep the secret, move towns, get plastic surgery-

Bernard (unintentionally interrupting his boyfriends ruminating thoughts): Tim, I'm making your favorite! I also left an outfit on the bed, and I placed your mask on the table.

Tim groaned at his boyfriend's saccharine jovial tone. Bernard sounded so used to this, but Tim couldn't figure out when he actually figured out he was Red Robin. All he could do now was get dressed.

Tim: Th- Thanks.

Tim took a deep breath, changing into the blue shirt and blue jeans Bear left out for him. Leaving his bedroom, he went to the table and sat down. Bernard placed a plate of eggs, bacon and avocado toast in front of him. Bear kissed him on the head then sat down with a plate of his own food.

Bernard scooched his chair closer to Tim, laughing softly seeing his flushed face.

Bernard (eating a strip of bacon): Last night was fun, I'm glad I got to do that with you in your Robin suit. Kind of wanted to do after I connected the dots on my metaphorical evidence board.

Tim groaned, rubbing his forehead.

Bernard (a soft smile): If you're worried I'm going to tell anyone or leave you or want money to keep it secret let me make this clear, I won't. I wouldn't do that if we weren't dating. That type of betrayal isn't my thing.

Tim: Yeah, but... Why?

Bernard: (calm) Did you threaten to do that when you wanted to become Robin? Because I know how smart you are and that you figured out who Batman was.

Tim (shaking his head): It was a tough start, but I never wanted to tell the world the information once I learned it. I didn't think I'd have this happen to me though. I was so careful.

Bernard chuckled, patting Tim on the shoulder.

Bernard (placing a hand on Tim's arm): Timmy, my prince, you suck at hiding it at a certain point. You left your eye mask in random places, you left a batarang in my car once, I'm keeping that by the way, one of your Robin suits is in the closet-

Tim (lying badly): I told you that was a halloween costume.

Bernard: Tim you have it labeled 'Property of Red Robin'. I believed it was a cool halloween costume... that we used for roleplay, eventually I connected the dots and the tights.

Tim sighed, holding his head down and eating his breakfast.

Tim: Continue.

Bernard (beaming): Thank you, let's see... you left your laptop open one time and there were blueprints for the batmobile, the microwave incident and again your upper arm tattoo.

Tim checked the tattoo he got dedicated to his mom.

Tim: Yeah, I-

Bernard: I told you to get the tattoo on a different spot for that reason, yeah. To be honest, the mask and tattoo made me teeter on if I was right, but it was when I kissed you to wake you up from the chaos monster's control that made me realize... you're the same person.

Tim: That was a weird night, you never told me how you snapped out of it first.

Bernard kissed Tim on the cheek.

Bernard: I had a little help from Robin. The important thing is I don't care if you're Red Robin. I love you and will always love you. I was waiting for you to tell me, but... let's just say I got a little impatient.

Tim: That's what I love about you, you are my better half. I... love you too.

Bernard: Aww, you're making me blush. Your secret is safe with me though, okay?

Tim nodded, eating his toast.

Tim: Thanks, question though, did you figure out who Batman is?

Bernard (chuckling): Yeah that took me like five minutes. Having trouble with Nightwing and Red Hood though.

Tim: Seriously?

Bernard (honest): Yeah, can you tell me?

Tim: Oh, no, no, you gotta figure that out on your own.

Bernard: You'll keep that secret from me? The utter betrayal.

Bernard and Tim laughed and then shared a quick kiss then went to eating breakfast with a new bond between them.

Previous chapter ->Last night

First chapter -> He already knew

[gothamite-rambler]

Oliver Queen to Dick Grayson and Jason Todd

Oliver: You guys are freaks, I want you to stay away from my son!

Jason (calmly): Not doing that. Was that supposed to hurt my feelings? Calling me a freak? Bitch, I hear that every other day.

Dick holding his head down.

Dick (sniffling): I didn't know I was doing anything wrong. I just want him to be happy.

Jason, slowly shook with rage.

One minute later.

Jason had Oliver pinned on the ground with his arm bent so hard the bone is about to break while Dick futilely tried to break the two up.

Jason: Apologize to him!

Oliver Queen: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Let go of my arm!

[gothamite-rambler]

Jason Todd when he got his gun permit in New Jersey.

*based off the scene from Women Who Kill*

Gun shop owner (bored): How may I help you?

Jason (21): I need to buy a gun.

Gun shop owner (surprised): You have a permit?

Jason slapped that piece of paper on the counter with a grin.

Gun shop owner (eager he doesn't seem to be a criminal): Oh my God, this is real?! All right! Let's get started.

Jason: I'm going to like this place.